Saturday, April 30, 2011 12:32 pm

life

listen, ♥We're living in a pretentious world where nothing is real, even yourself.

We all live a damn lie, hoping and helplessly praying that we'll do fine.

But no, life doesn't work that way, they say.

Shut up! Shut up! SHUT THE FUCK UP!

12:13 am

joke

listen, ♥I think my blog has more compassion than myself.

Such irony, I thought I'm the one controlling this!

Oh well, good for you but bad for me.

One day, ... /fist pump

12:03 am

voice

listen, ♥Sometimes, it gets so difficult to talk to you, especially when it comes to things that we cannot seem to agree on and yes, as much as it pisses you off, thinking about it, I'm equally or MORE pissed than usual!

I'm not politically apathetic, I just don't want to make a big deal out of the whole election and such. Am I wrong to do so?

You can support whatever party for all I care, it's not as if it's gonna affect me or my life. I'll still have a roof over my head and a family that I can always turn to. My friends would still stand by me and the school will continue to function thereafter.

What more when I can't vote and give my opinion, it doesn't concern me as of now. There's nothing much I can do, can I?

Pissed at this hour, pissed since the evening! What a way to start the weekend. /roll eyes

KIDS ARE BLOODY MONSTERS IN DISGUISE AND I CANNOT COMPREHEND HOW MUCH I DISLIKE THEM!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011 11:40 pm

You

listen, ♥I'm glad that you can make a difficult day so easy to get by.

Thank you for the call and making me feel all better. (:

Goodnight Sunshine! <3 xxx,

4:26 pm

Today

listen, ♥I don't know how to react to today's happenings but I sure am one satisfied kid to a fairly large extent.

I woke up to a good start, making me beam with joy UNTIL I reached school and realized that I didn't bring my wallet. It was too late to walk back to get it, that's one thing for sure and I was whining like a cow to • cause I was hungry and I wanted to munch on something upon arrival in school. /sigh

I thought things was gonna get tough but in fact, it didn't turn out too bad. Balqis bought me food. (I'll buy you brunch tomorrow :D) Mdm Sham didn't kill us instantly. In fact, she was quite nice to give us a ten minutes break. (:

School ended on a rather happy note considering how I tried my best to remain positive despite the growling stomach. Nevertheless, I'm done with school for the day and I look forward to the long weekend! :D

I'm not done with my homework and tuition tutorials. /: 3 AQs to be completed by tomorrow, is not funny and such. Blah, hate how I procrastinate like some idiot and then regret it thereafter.

Oh yes, I haven't stopped eating since I came home. /slit wrist I'm gonna be a fatty bom bom soon! ): Dinner in 30 minutes, lol. I'm such a pig I swear but oh well, I think I can afford it. I promise myself I'll lose them somehow, lol.

Anyway, I'm happy to know that you're doing fine in there. (:

12:59 am

Happy

listen, ♥I'm actually quite happy and relief that you don't have to go through the tough trainings that was planned out initially. (: Now I can sleep in peace knowing that you'll be safe and sound. (:

Time to sleep. I'll, see you soon! xxx,

Tuesday, April 26, 2011 6:55 pm

errrr

listen, ♥The efficiency of our transportation system in Singapore, is amazing. /sarcasm injected

How can I possibly take 1 hour to get to Jurong when I take less than an hour to reach City Hall. /miracle

Okay, whatever. I'm tired, a little at least. Thank goodness the RedBull's working. Shall complete my homework tonight before I sleep. Screw waking up early cause I'll end up falling asleep yet again.

Long and painful ride for tuition and then back. /sigh IT'S ALL WORTH IT! I'm getting paid. /breathe

Dreading Friday. /: BOOOOO! ): HATE FRIDAYS x 10^21684754

Monday, April 25, 2011 11:31 pm

Bleah

listen, ♥Now that you've got your wish, it's time mine gets fulfilled.

Waking up in 2-3 hours. Night!

Sunday, April 24, 2011 11:57 pm

pray

listen, ♥It's gonna be a tough week for you and I but I know somehow, in one way or another, we're gonna get by. We've just gotta be strong and carry on despite the negative vibe that's within us. We can so this, you know we can. I can do it, as long as you're with me through this.

This week is gonna end, in a blink of an eye and you're gonna have a short short week considering how tough Wednesday's gonna be. You'll get by and by then, I have to get by cause it marks mid week which means I can see you soon, but A levels would be approaching sooner than expected.

/sigh I really need to buck up. 199 days left, make that 198 when the clock strikes 12am. I'm not prepared for anything, at all. /: When you asked me why I wasn't studying earlier, I didn't know what to say. But you knew what I'm going through, you've felt what I've felt and you understood where I'm coming from. /praise the lord

And you know, I don't wanna disappoint you. I don't want you to feel like we've been wasting our lives away, cause we haven't. And i know that for a fact.

I promise to be more diligent, I promise to work harder, I promise to make use of time. I promise.

And as we embark on a new week on a clean sheet, I hope you'll do fine despite the challenges and I hope I'll survive well enough and be ready for combat just like you are! I miss you, xxx.

The week will pass very quickly and till I see you, I hope you'll do well. Hear you at 5am, xxx.

I need to wake up to do my homework. /loud sigh (Incompetent x10^3651457)

10:02 am

Bless

listen, ♥God bless the world, unhappiness and hatred are swarming mankind.
God bless Syria, free them from harm and fear.
God bless humanity, make us your own one people in your name.
God bless the earth, may it be a better place in days/years to come.
God bless us all, that we may repent and learn from our wrong doings.

To honor and to protect your name.
To serve you to the best of our abilities.
To grow to become more like you.

Amen.

9:19 am

Boo

listen, ♥/sigh

Please make it a better day.

I have tons of homework that are incomplete, Star Awards which I wanna stare at cause Jeanette and Elvin are gonna be there and shit loads of test to study for.

/loud sigh

I don't wanna go to school! ):

Omg, I just realize I have to help Bestie teach her kids tomorrow night. /:
I've got Econs test on Tuesday! ): I want to cry now! ):

8:42 am

Easter

listen, ♥Lord, by your cross and resurrection, you have set us free. You are the saviour of, the world.

He has risen from the dead and he is Lord. Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess. That Jesus Christ is Lord!

Amen.

Friday, April 22, 2011 11:17 pm

transcript

listen, ♥"For God so loved the world, he gave his only son to be our light."

This is the phrase that was drilled into my head, since I was a child and never have I forgotten it.

Why, you may ask. Because in my times of despair and sorrow, he's always that one showing the way and walking with me through it all. Time after time, set backs after set backs, never did he once turned his back on me. Even when I felt that all hope is lost and when I've lost faith, even in him for a split second. He never blamed me for doing so.

I know it would have hurt him in so many ways, watching me turn my back on him. To feel that life is not worth the living and the constant lost in faith. But, he never failed to stand by me, through it all, and I'm thankful.

I'm grateful for all the blessings that he has showered upon me and my family. Despite the shit and turmoil that we had to go through in he past, he has brought all of us closer together. I never thought I would love my family as much as I have,the perception of leaving as soon as I grow up, gradually fades away with his mercy and his love.

When my life was turned upside down, and flipped inside out, he was there to show the way. He stood by me and guided me through my darkest days. He watched me grow, he watched me get back on my feet, he watched me distract myself so that I wouldn't fall any deeper. It's the many little things that he has done for me, that allows me to greatly appreciate my Lord and king. The saviour of all time.

There were points in time when I doubted my faith in him because nothing turned out right. But I'm really thankful that he has never forsaken me and left me alone to despair.

And because you love me, with each new day, for every second and with every heart beat, I promise to stay loyal and true to my faith and place my trust in you.

Lord you have touched my heart and yes, you're here to stay. With me and in me for I am nothing without your love and mercy.

"Man cannot live on bread alone, but by every word that comes from God." - Matthew 4:4

8:47 pm

pfffft

listen, ♥And no, you're not gonna take me for a ride. I'm tired of playing mind games. If you coming then yes, let's go. If you're not, then stay where you are.

I hate being in doubt! I really really really hate it! Please!

Headache and tons of work to do. /sigh

I hate how incompetent I am. I hate how I haven't completed any homework which would be a different case altogether back then. /sigh

I should really start pushing myself and such. /: I should really try to fix myself. I should do my best and prove my worth.

But SIGH! /: I feel all depressed seeing the bloody teacher's report for PW. The WR's like _|_ /SIGH

11:25 am

Good Friday

listen, ♥"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" - Matthew 27:47

"Father, into your hands, I commend my spirit." - Luke 23:46

Thursday, April 21, 2011 9:51 pm

Army

listen, ♥I'm so pissed at how the Army operates, I wanna kick someone in their groin! Tell me in what way is this bloody shit reasonable! I was sooooo looking forward to you coming out a day earlier but what the bloody fuck, you have to stay in there for another day for such a bloody lame reason which is beyond comprehension! Like seriously?! It's not as if he decided not to do this and that! How unreasonable can the system get? Omg, I'm so bloody pissed although I'm not directly affected, but /sigh

I want to cry now! ):

Tuesday, April 19, 2011 9:38 pm

tskkkk

listen, ♥):

Bloody History homework, I missed the chance to talk to you! ):

/sighhh

I want to cry now!

Monday, April 18, 2011 8:47 pm

Genesis 6-9

listen, ♥The Flood

"The end has come for all things of flesh ; I have decided this, because the earth is full of violence of man's making, and I will efface them from the earth." - Genesis 6:13

"I will establish my Covenant with you, and you must go on the ark." - Genesis 6:18

"Never again will I curse the earth because of man, because his heart contrives evil from his infancy. Never again will I strike down every living thing as I have done." - Genesis 8:21

"He who sheds man's blood,
shall have his blood shed by man,
for in the image of God,
man was made."
- Genesis 9:6

"This is the sign of the Covenant I have established between myself and every living thing that is found on earth." - Genesis 9:17

Amen.

7:48 pm

Complain

listen, ♥I know you're more tired than I would ever be. So I shall not whine and listen to your complains. (:

Sunday, April 17, 2011 11:13 pm

nature

listen, ♥And so, the moon's hanging brightly above you, and the stars are sparkling.

I know it's gonna be a tough week no matter how short but I hope you'll cope well. I'm praying things would be fine throughout the 4 days that you're in the hell hole.

Bible readings before sleeping makes me feel all better and more calm. Tomorrow, I'll wake up to your voice and start working on Literature. /promise

Goodnight there! I'm here praying for both our survival. (:

10:42 pm

Genesis 1-4

listen, ♥The Origins of the World and of Mankind.

"God created man in the image of himself,
in the image of God he created him,
male and female he created them."
- Genesis 1:27

Heaven and earth were completed with their array. On the seventh day God completed the work he had been doing. He rested on the seventh day after all the work he had been doing. God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on that day he rested after all his work of creating. - Genesis 2:1-3

God fashioned man of dust from the soil. Then he breathed into his nostrils a breath of life, and thus man became a living being. - Genesis 2:7

"This at last is bone from my bones,
and flesh from my flesh!
This is to be called woman,
for this was taken from man."
- Genesis 2:23

"Here is one who will give us, in the midst of toil and the laboring of our hands, a consolation derived from the ground that Yahweh cursed." - Genesis 5:29

"For dust you are
and dust you shall return."
- Genesis 3:19

"Here is one who will give us, in the midst of toil and the laboring of our hands, a consolation derived from the ground that Yahweh cursed." - Genesis 5:29

Amen.

5:42 pm

Bestf

listen, ♥When your Bestf becomes your only source of hope, ...

5:09 pm

beach

listen, ♥It's days like this that you wish you were on the boat or at the beach, enjoying the breeze and wondering what your new tan line would turn out to be like. /sigh

I've become so fair since I stopped running, not ultra fair but light enough and I hate it! But whatever, must embrace my own culture and be happy about my skin tone. /sprouting rubbish

Not done with Econs after 2 days. /sigh I'm so incompetent, I wanna slap myself silly! /:

Time to get down to business. There's about an hour before having to head to Grandpa's and then home to watch TV for a bit while doing my homework. /sigh to the work load but yay to beig able to multitask efficiently.

Okay, BYE!

3:07 pm

Song

listen, ♥This is my body, broken for you,
bringing you wholeness, making you free.
Take it and eat it, and when you do,
Do it in love for me.

This is my blood poured out for you,
bringing forgiveness, making you free.
Take it and drink it, and when you do,
do it in love for me.

Back to my Father soon I will go.
Do not forget me; then you will see
I am still with you, and you will know
you’re very close to me.

Filled with my Spirit, how you will grow!
You are my branches; I am the tree.
If you are faithful, others will know
you are alive in me.

Love one another – I have loved you,
and I have shown you how to be free;
serve one another, and when you do,
do it in love for me.

- This Is My Body

11:34 am

holy

listen, ♥I promise to read the Bible everyday since its Holy Week. (:

Saturday, April 16, 2011 10:25 pm

Hypocrite

listen, ♥You bloody hypocrite! /roll eyes

8:52 pm

Bitch

listen, ♥If you're meant to be fat, then live with it damn it!

Stop whining about your inferiority complex day in and out, on Twitter and Facebook! It's like annoying!

Okay, I need to stop being bitchy.

8:22 pm

Stupid

listen, ♥It amazes me, how people live in denial. It's like, come on, it's quite obvious that I DO NOT LIKE YOU at all and I hate hanging out with you. So, why can't you get the point? Like, seriously. Do you have nothing better to do but to pester me?!

When I say go away, you leave. When I say shut up, you keep your mouth shut! Does this not tell you how much your presence isn't necessary or are you plain stupid or, YOU'RE JUST LIVING IN DENIAL?!

Get a life please! And when I say I hate you, I obviously mean it. Like duh! Then why am I saying that, stupid!

I believe I'm blunt enough to make you realize that I'm not interested at all and you should just screw off cause I'll snap pretty soon. Which wouldn't be too bad a thing after all. (:

Wednesday, April 13, 2011 7:29 pm

Happy

listen, ♥Today's super epic, I cannot stop thinking and laughing to myself. For some reason, that got me cracking and laughing like there's no tomorrow. Totally made my day!

What more when I've received so many texts from you today! (: But i'll rather wait for your text every night than know that you're not feeling well in camp. /: The suspense and such really sucks but I'm glad that you're feeling all better now.

Yesterday was such a huge scare and I wanted to die, only knowing what went wrong at midnight. Thank god that episode's over! Praise the Lord!

Okay, I'll be patient while waiting for your reply. (reception at your camp's really bad) Dinner time and then complete my work! Have loads of stuff to do! Okay, BYE before I'll never finish my dinner.

6:40 pm

Lying

listen, ♥I'll be lying if I said I don't miss you.

Okay, shut up and complete the timed assignment.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011 11:23 pm

stupid

listen, ♥Seriously, it's people like you who should get a damn life or just live in your own pathetic world without screwing other people's life. Stop being a fucking crack pot, trying to gain sympathy and what not cause it does not fucking work on me. Try playing mind games intelligently and I might try to entertain you. For now, fuck off. Yes, that's you I'm mentioning and if you know it, why bother asking? Stop being a fucking pest and annoying the whole wide world when you're really insignificant. Just, GET A DAMN LIFE! Stop being such an idiotic person who'll act innocent all day cause it just pisses me off! You're such a misfortune to have around and I swear, I feel like slapping you everytime you try to fucking act cute. Stop pouting cause it makes you look like a fucking pig and PLEASE, FOR THE THOUSAND AND ONE TIME, FUCK OFF! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR ACT CUTE AND INNOCENT MOMENT AND I SWEAR, IT'S NOT FLATTERING, AT ALL! QUIT TRYING CAUSE IT'S NOT GONNA FUCKING WORK. YOU'RE ONLY MAKING ME HATE YOU MORE THAN I ALREADY AM.

Monday, April 11, 2011 11:28 pm

joy

listen, ♥And as you embark on a tough journey that's giving you hell, I'm here waiting for you to return. Can't wait for time to pass so that I can meet you more often! :D Really really really cannot wait for it! (:

What more when I get to spend time, studying with you and seeing you more than before. /smiling wide

For some reason, I love hearing your voice which is very unusual considering how I hate talking on the phone. For some reason, I look forward to your every text and encouragement. For some reason, I feel infinite when you're with me.

You'll survive and do well, that's one thing for sure and I'll be here, rooting for you and praying for your safe return.

Right here waiting, a little less than a month to go. (: /fist pump

Saturday, April 09, 2011 8:28 pm

Thanks

8:20 pm

Sigh

listen, ♥I would have felt better if I had a shoulder to lean/cry on or received a big hug.

But no, time and again, I end up disappointed.

10:11 am

Sigh

listen, ♥My mind just wandered on and on, without must to consider but shit load to think and reflect on. "Where did I go wrong?!" was the very question that I couldn't answer, neither did I have anything more to say. Silence is indeed golden, but not when you're stuck in your own mind, trying to figure out what's wrong and right. I can assure you, that this feeling sucks.

9 whole hours of trying to move on and get past the idea of how disappointed I am at myself. 9 whole hours of trying to figure out what's wrong. 9 whole hours of trying to move on but to no avail. 9 whole hours trying to fix myself.

The amount of effort, time spent and sleepless nights. The fact that I scarified something of far more importance hurts more than anything. I tried, I tried my best and no one knows how hard I've tried because they're not me. You can judge me, hate me, curse me and such. But I know for a fact that my group deserves better. This feeling sucks do badly.

And please, if you don't know how to motivate people, just shut your fucking trap cause nothing that came out from that mouth of yours was flattering! Why is everything OUR fault when you're suppose to assit us? You're one hell of a shit hole, I wonder how you even made it this far. Disgusting piece of crap, go rot in your grave now instead of screwing up your student's results and then blaming us for it.

Disappointed, I am. That should add on to the many names I have.

You've hated me once and you're free to hate and judge me again. I don't give a flying fuck.

I wish you're here to walk me through this but I can't be selfish.

Thursday, April 07, 2011 6:26 pm

Feeling

listen, ♥This feeling inside, I can't hide. When you stand right by my side. I wanna ask you, for a chance to stay tonight. Been so long, all these time. I struggle to tell you how I find, that you are the one, all throughout my life. I've been searching for you, all my life.

I feel ... Like I wanna die now. /loud sigh

Tuesday, April 05, 2011 7:56 pm

Promise

listen, ♥I promised to await your return and I would.

I'm sitting here, in the silence, trying to hear footsteps that never came by.

& I'll keep waiting, until the day you come by.

I miss you, come home soon.

Lights will guide you home and I will try to fix you.

Sunday, April 03, 2011 10:39 am

Selfish

listen, ♥As much as I wanna see you today, I'm having all these mixed feelings that are indescribable. /:

"Save us oh Lord, wash away our sins. Make us you own one people in your name."

Okay, I'm in a dilemma. ///

Have an awesome day people! (:

Saturday, April 02, 2011 9:14 am

Sigh

listen, ♥I'll be over the moon if you made that dream a reality. It's like I'll be so thankful I wouldn't mind dying instantly.

But the key word is IF.

Good morning world! Have a great day earthlings! (while I piece myself together)

12:03 am

Sigh

listen, ♥I feel like a complete weakling now, about to crumble and fade into the ground like minerals for the soil.

I'm hitting rock bottom for no apparent reason and it bothers me to not feel alright when I have to be at my peak.

Am I not doing enough or haven't I tried my best?

I know I've given this my all but someday I know, I'll look back with regret.

I need a break from the books. Just for a while, to make me feel better. /sigh

I will survive and come back stronger. I need to and I will. /fist pump

For now, let me have a mini break, even if it's just for a few hours. It'll really help.

):

Friday, April 01, 2011 10:46 pm

Blah

listen, ♥I wanna be a millionaire, so freaking bad! Staring at all the gorgeous looking clothes and drooling over all the cute heels on the shelves. I pray, hope and wish with all my might that I'll one day strike it rich.

HAHAHA! Whatever.